As usual, I’m a bit behind the times addressing this particular subject, but when it comes to how adoption is handled in the media, I find it’s sometimes better to step back and allow my thoughts and feelings to percolate a bit. (Also, I can wait for other and better bloggers to form their opinions and share snippets of them here with you.)
In case you haven’t seen the movie or missed the one-liner causing a fuss in the adoption community, it goes like this:
!SPOILER ALERT!
1. Superheroes sit around on an invisible, flying boat-plane-thingy and bemoan the terrible actions of this round’s villain, Loki, brother of Thor and adopted son of Odin.
2. Thor defends Loki against verbal attacks when Black Widow says, “He killed 80 people in two days.”
3. Thor replies, “He’s adopted.”
4. Entire theater erupts in laughter.
Initial thoughts….why is “he’s adopted” presented as a reason for his mass-murdering rampage? In saying “he’s adopted,” it’s as if Thor is actually saying, “Ummm….yeah. I don’t want to be associated with any of this mess, so let me make clear that he’s not biologically related to me. I mean, dude’s not really my brother, ya know?”
Other people have written some interesting words on this subject, and I’d like to share a few of them here.
From 73adoptee: Perspectives on Adoption:
“What bothered me is that this is a prime example of how adoptees are one of the last fair sources of discriminatory humor. We can have a black Nick Fury, we can have a female assassin, but the bastard remains the accepted butt of any joke….
Worse – Loki is not only adopted but… his birth father is the enemy leader. His birth mother is nonexistent. His birth family are ugly monsters whereas his adoptive family are beautiful, blond, and godlike. Stereotype City!
Loki is also a textbook example of “bad blood”. He’s destined to turn evil, and he can’t get away from it no matter how much he tries. Think Damien from The Omen, another textbook example.”
Interesting. I wonder how the reaction would differ if Thor had said, “He’s black” or “He’s gay.” You know…things that also don’t have anything to do with whether a person is an evil murderer or not. I realize that those individuals are still frequently the subject of “humorous” attempts, but those types of discriminatory humor are thankfully being called into question more and more often. I also don’t appreciate yet another film vilifying birth families and perpetuating the “bad blood” stereotype.
And, I’m not even sure why the “joke” was needed. Even Chris Hemsworth, Thor, says in an interview he didn’t really get it.
“Chris Hemsworth: Yeah! The line where I say, “He’s adopted.” I had no idea that would be funny [laughs]. When we shot that, I went, “Is this really funny?” But, that’s the thing. Joss is hilarious. The whole film, I was surprised how the comedy in it played so well.”
The thing that bothers me most about one-liners making fun of adoptees is imagining how they might impact Ellie one day. I imagine her sitting beside me in the theater, 10-years-old, watching this movie and listening to hundreds of people belly-laugh about the adopted guy.
From Of Masks and Men: a letter to the director, Joss Whedon
“My daughter’s adopted, Joss. I love her more than comic books. I love her more than Firefly. I love her more than my own life. To imagine having to explain that line to my six-year old daughter and why everyone in the audience is laughing at Thor while he distances himself from his brother, as if he is somehow less connected because Loki’s adopted, took me outside the movie…”
Will it make her uncomfortable? Will she wonder, “If I’m adopted, does that mean I’m less a part of my family? Am I evil too?” Likely, it won’t, because we’ll be careful to have open and honest conversations about stereotypes and stupid people who use them to create jokes in movies. Hopefully, she’ll be so well-adjusted, smothered in love, and comfortable with her complete identity, it won’t phase her in the least.
But what about the kids who may not have a loving family to offer explanations and reassurance?
From DRBethRobinson.com: regarding foster children
“Thor’s comment plays upon a stereotype and negative perception in our culture about adopted children. The stereotype is that adopted children are “bad” children or become adults who commit acts who hurt other people….
The joke in “The Avengers” just confirms for children waiting for adoption their perception that they are unwanted, unlovable, or different.”
One woman, Jamie Berke, even started a petition on change.org to ask for an apology (not a boycott) from Marvel Comics. Many adult adoptees attacked Jamie for creating a petition for what they see as a harmless line in a movie. One commenter said, “should all movies never have a villian because it could offend someone? pretty boring movies in my opinion. All the little hispanic children think they are evil because we made a movie about a drug cartel? ridiculous!” Not exactly sensitive, and the comments got progressively more harsh. I agree that Berke’s petition seems excessive considering there are children being sold into slavery or dying of a lack of clean water at this very minute, but I do appreciate that it started discussion.
“I don’t want an apology from Marvel for the joke. The reality is that comics have overwhelming portrayed adoption as a positive experience in their storylines about superheroes through the years…
I want a joke about adoption in “The Avengers” to create enough media stir that everyone becomes more aware of the impact of adoption on children and the need for foster and adoptive families in this country…
Then let’s do something to make life better for foster or adopted children. Let’s make a donation to a adoption or foster care group. Let’s babysit for a family with foster children. Let’s buy pizza for kids in foster care. Let’s become foster or adoptive parents. Let’s use the laughter from a joke to make a change for the better.”
And as for those who may attempt to slam me with comments (or passive-aggressive Facebook rants) about being overly sensitive, I’ll return to Of Masks and Men.
“I’ve read from other sources that some oversensitive adoptive parents have a problem with that line. I’ll take that hit. I may be oversensitive about it, but you know what? As an adoptive parent, it’s my job to be sensitive to it. It’s part of the gig.”
Personally, I enjoyed much of the film (there are certain hormonal days where I definitely relate to the Hulk and just want to SMASH….while eating chocolate), and if I didn’t have an adopted daughter, I wouldn’t have given the line a second thought. But I guess that’s the point. While I don’t want you to avoid the movie or grow a righteous indignation or even sign a petition, I guess it would be cool if we could all give those seemingly simple one-liners a second look, and that goes for all movies and stereotypes. How does that joke make others feel? Is that joke necessary? What message is this movie sending? What positive conversations can we have from this?
And of course, where can I get a suit like Iron Man?
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